The long and short of it

I am returning from a long hiatus. There are no great, romantic reasons, its only that I was faced with a dearth of topics to write about. I kept thinking about an intellectual topic, with views which will rattle the readers, but I failed. Thinking, I realized that I had been staring at the topic all this long! Here it goes......

The focus here will be simply on...my name! As most people may know, my name is quite an interesting one, the primary reason being its length and complexity. For those who don't know, my full name is KRISHNATREYA BRINDAVANAM. Some facts about it before I proceed further:

1. It is 23 letters long.
2. I have successfully defended my title as "The One with the Longest Name" successively for 10 years, before losing out to a girl with a 32 letters long name. Then, she left the school, so I regained the title keeping it even after I changed schools. The record is still there, even in college.
3. For purposes of ease, my forward-thinking dad shortened it to B.K. Atreya. Only, it turned out, he didn't think too forward. The story of my name thus begins.........

The first question most people ask is, "What is the full form of B.K.?" Of course, poor people are humans and thus blessed/cursed with a sense of curiosity, to solve anything mysterious. I have no idea what they expect, but yes, I found out that saying something vague only piques their curiosity and I am left with no other choice, other than revealing the Great Secret. So I go "its Brindavanam Krishna". This is followed by a minimum of two repetitions, which they try to parrot, but most usually fail.

The second question, you guessed it, is "What does it mean?" A relatively easier question, compared to the Herculean task I had just accomplished. I say "it is the real name of an ancient Ayurvedic doctor called Charakha". Some people know who he is, some do not, but that is not an issue. There are all kinds of people in this world. The crown goes to people who say "OK, but what does it MEAN??" Now, I am posed with something which linguists have tried to solve for ages. What is the meaning of a name or word? We say "my name is XYZ, its a name for Goddess Lakshmi". OK, but what is the meaning of "Lakshmi"? Stumped, eh? I have searched high and low, yet couldn't find an answer to this question.

These questions are sometimes followed by inane, moronic comments like "that's long", "why is it so complicated?", etc. But the practical ones ask "what does everyone call you?" or "what do u prefer to be called?" So I answer and that's the end of it!

I would now dwell a bit further and try explaining about names. It so happens, that my name isn't the longest in the world (sad, eh? after all this trouble!). There are longer names I know of. The reason for the "perceived" complexity is that my "fore name" is long! See, we have Chattopadhyays, Bandopadhyays, Gnanamgaris, Krishnamurthys, etc. But most of these are taken in stride and not gawked upon. Why? Because they are surnames, man! You don't offend a person by "wtf'ing" his surname! You just say "OK" and pray you never have to spell it on paper someday. On the other hand, you use a person's forename more than anything and thus need to get everything clear about it!
I digress a bit here to talk about the uber glorious Brindavanam clan. We are Vaishnavas, traditional occupation being priesthood(who could imagine one of their progeny being an agnostic, but thats for another blog). It so happens, that our caste has this habit of putting the name of their village as their surname. So, as the geniuses reading this may have realized, my ancestors hailed from Vrindavan, before shifting down south for reasons best known to them.

Anyways, getting back to my name, I am now very much used to all the colourful and creative pronunciations and spellings which my name spawns. Trust me, I seriously don't feel bad. Its OK man. My name is tough to pronounce, I have to live with it. It gives me a laugh, though, the kind of word twisting people keep coming up with. It'll continue throughout, and I am up for it. Its only a bit embarrassing amongst a large group of people, when someone tries to grapple with the name openly.

What irritates me a bit is not pronunciation, but spelling. Granted, you can't write my spelling correctly in the first go, when I say it. But, when I am spelling it out to you, why do you still apply pressure on your top floor and end up getting irritated? I am saying "its K R I S . . ." and meanwhile, this enterprising name writer has already written "KRISNATARAYA" or "KRISN TARAYA" or something else and then cuts the name with unnecessary force to re-write it. I usually let it go, unless its an official document or something.

As I wrap this up, I think to myself- "do I love my name?" I won't say I love it, for all the problems I face, but I prefer ignoring it and seeing the glass half full. After all, I haven't yet met a person with the same forename as mine. Can YOU say the same, reader?